If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
