I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Let's paint friendship bongs
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
