Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize