Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
