Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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