When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Your dad touched me again.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
