he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
