you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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