i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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