batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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