Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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