I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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