is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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