hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
