Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  who is this?

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  (616): when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me. (248): who is this? http://tfl.nu/n5nl
  Replies (4) Good night (1056) Bad night (984)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  haha good one..how did you even know?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.

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  (404): FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night (1-404): haha good one..how did you even know? (404): we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck. http://tfl.nu/dmh7
  Replies (46) Good night (5120) Bad night (1379)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv

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  (801): My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv http://tfl.nu/1bcq
  Replies (39) Good night (1425) Bad night (4423)
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  (310): View more from California

  I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.

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  (310): I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless. http://tfl.nu/yhaf
  Replies (7) Good night (753) Bad night (2370)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  high people should be assigned attendants

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  (757): high people should be assigned attendants http://tfl.nu/w28j
  Replies (14) Good night (4105) Bad night (694)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.

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  (616): I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me. http://tfl.nu/hmco
  Replies (59) Good night (10293) Bad night (862)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."

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  (301): I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free." http://tfl.nu/6sne
  Replies (15) Good night (871) Bad night (4679)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now

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  (708): We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now http://tfl.nu/mm02
  Replies (21) Good night (7106) Bad night (987)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper

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  (720): me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling (303): Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper http://tfl.nu/d912
  Replies (3) Good night (2254) Bad night (969)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.

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  (401): The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success. http://tfl.nu/2cay
  Replies (2) Good night (1300) Bad night (472)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.

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  (870): Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl. http://tfl.nu/m2u6
  Replies (21) Good night (2481) Bad night (652)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter

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  (432): Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter http://tfl.nu/o41k
  Replies (10) Good night (2121) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.

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  (612): Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON. http://tfl.nu/8yy5
  Replies (6) Good night (949) Bad night (372)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Can't it be both?

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  (317): is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak' (1-317): Can't it be both? http://tfl.nu/ys3h
  Replies (2) Good night (277) Bad night (668)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!

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  (701): DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO! http://tfl.nu/dkw6
  Replies (0) Good night (266) Bad night (435)

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