dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.