its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.