even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
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the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
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Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.