Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
