I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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