just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So vagazzling was a success
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
