Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
