We won't sleep together?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
