Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
