You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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