she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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