come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
