the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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