**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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