I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
