Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
