see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
