Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
now i know why i became what i already was.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
