Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I currently don't understand fingers.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
