i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
