Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
