Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
