Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
