Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
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WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
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i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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