where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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