Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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