I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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