Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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