I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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