I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I smell stomach acid.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
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You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
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There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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