singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
