just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
