I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
