Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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