Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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