i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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