are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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