i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
