Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize