He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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