Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
