I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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