The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
