I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
