i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
