does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
