Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
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You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
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There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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