hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
