He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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