I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
