i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
