Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth

(330): View more from Ohio

well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth

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(917): View more from New York City

I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.

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(917): View more from New York City

Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!

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23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Read it at the TFLN blog
(256): View more from Alabama

FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.

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(301): View more from Maryland

dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow

(410): View more from Maryland

so basically your not goin out tonight?

(301): View more from Maryland

who said that?

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(419): View more from Ohio

I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.

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(712): View more from Iowa

My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.

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