I think my fart just growled at me.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
