So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
