You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
