I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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