I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
