I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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