You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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