I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
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