Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
